On rare occasions in life, we encounter those that offer connections unlike any we’ve experienced in our past. The value they bring to our existence can’t be measured in any practical sense. The only thing that matters once we meet this figure is maintaining our connection with them, and nothing that they or anyone else could offer can measure up to the happiness that knowing them and feeling like you are a part of them brings to your life. They are like our twin flame. Losing this person is akin to losing part of one’s soul. Life is ever-changing, and forever a destroyer of worlds will eventually bring about this loss, whether in weeks or years. Love’s flame burns us all.
Flame’s Idyllic Phase
Of course, caught in the throws of this seemingly supernatural pull, we can’t imagine a world without them. We develop a blindness to the person’s realities we’ve become entranced by and indeed to the facts of the world around us. We see perfection in their every characteristic and affection in every action. We can’t imagine a world in which that person might betray us, for we harbor no such machinations. On the contrary, the weak hearts with which we offer our affections are built to betray the ones we love and ourselves. For betrayal is as natural throughout human history as drawing breath. It then becomes not a question of if but of when. None are immune to this human frailty we all exude, unable to conquer base emotions, a prisoner to our desires.
Loss of our Heart
We lose them, and part of who we are decays a little more each time. Pieces of ourselves fall away for years upon years until one day we look in the mirror of our soul and barely recognize what we see there. We become caricatures of all the lofty hopes and dreams we once possessed. Our inner visage is torn apart and distorted into something grotesque. Memories of those we loved return without end to taunt and torture and malign us till the end of our days. The child we once were has died a thousand deaths before we even get one foot in the grave. Some take these losses and use such heartbreak to inflict it upon others as has been done to them. But was it done to them? As humans, we are all weak and lacking in fidelity to anything other than our selfish desires. So the sadness, pain, and disillusionment is as much our fault as it is the faults of those that captured our hearts.
The Phantasm of our Hearts
If the objects of our love ever respected and or loved us, they would still be a part of our lives. Humans attach themselves to others and create images of who we imagine and want that person to be. Cognitive dissonance is real, and most humans employ it to craft a narrative in their heads that creates an illusory perception of reality that is comforting to them. So when we meet our unique humans, we endow them with certain qualities that most often they don’t possess while overlooking all the negative aspects of the object of our desires. We create the conditions that are conducive to our heartbreak. So all of us share in the responsibility of this world’s pain and broken hearts.
After having experienced a few heartbreaks, many people dedicate their lives to destroying aspects of humanity that remind them of their lost love. So having been let down by women, some men seek to take advantage and take what they wish and leave without contributing anything to the well-being of said women. If such arrangements are made in mutual understanding, it’s alright, though not ideal, for we treat the symptoms rather than the disease. A woman having been used and abused by men in her past might seek to play a game of feigning interest only to attempt to use the man as a piggy bank, all the while destroying his sense of worth by denying him any genuine affection. The heartbroken often seek to fill their emptiness with temporary people and temporary pleasures, never able to fill the void they helped create in their hearts. Self-worth isn’t recovered by destroying the worth of others. And thus, the disease from which we all suffer is emotional immaturity. Love can’t be considered something whimsical but must be treated with respect. Like a bullet can kill, love can destroy you if not handled with the care it deserves. If we want to build a happy life, we must do so through our efforts and not on the backs of the brokenhearted. Usury is not the medicine to heal broken hearts; true loyalty and trust can.
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